This morning as I was reading a daily devotional, I found myself thinking about Christ on the cross, crying out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Psalm 22:1

We all face life changing trials in our lives, sometimes it is serious health issues, sometimes it is the loss of a loved one either through death or divorce, sometimes it is financial struggles, or job loss. No matter the circumstances, we are looking to someone for comfort, strength, and guidance. It is the someone who we look to that can make all the difference. I look to Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Savior.

This year has been a year of trials for our family, life changing trials. We have walked through the diagnosis of lung cancer for my husband, who went through chemo, then surgical removal of his entire right lung. Our son who had been deployed for a year to Kuwait, returned home and was greeted with divorce papers from his wife of 13 years. This was so devastating for him, and his young children as well as our whole family. Then there was the diagnosis of an aortic anyeresum and a failing aortic Bicuspid valve in my heart and I needed to have major open heart surgery. Our granddaughter who has lived with us for 4 years while she attended WSU was spreading her wings and moved to Olathe, to start her career and her next journey. Everyone of these events where life changing events and I thought that I was Trusting God in all of them.

As we walked the journey of health struggles, doubts and fears would creep in in our moments of weakness, when we needed God’s strength, we were not feeling it. Then I remembered the scripture “I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.” Revelation 3:8 and Proverbs 3:4-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Were we ? Were we Trusting in the Lord? Were we drawing on God’s strength? We were staying in the word, believing in our prayers and yet we were feeling somewhat forsaken. Where was God? Why was God walking us through all this? I was feeling overwhelmed, shaken and uncertain, my husband was trying to recover with one lung and I am being told that I need to have surgery in the next few months.. Open heart surgery!!! How could this all be happening? Oh God, please give me strength…that was my prayer every day. I know that God is always with us, but why was I feeling so alone. Life was running a muck and I couldn’t fix any of it. All of a sudden, it was like God was shouting at me…YOU GOT THAT RIGHT…You can’t fix anything…I AM THE ONE IN CONTROL. TRUST ME. It was in that moment that I realized how Christ must of felt on that cross; alone, and forsaken but He Trusted in God’s plan and He already knew how it was going to turn out. GOD’s Plan is Perfect. How could I be so wrong, praying all wrong…where was the thankfulness to God who was with me even when I didn’t think so, where was the praise for his blessings, his strength, and his love.

I had been praying for Brad’s healing, our son’s strength and guidance, my healing and direction, courage and strength for our granddaughter….asking for this and for that…but never once Trusting in His Will for our lives. Suddenly…prayers changed, my view changed….God hadn’t forsaken me….He never left for one moment, I was just trying to control things myself instead of Fully Relying on God.

Can You think of a time when you were trying to take control? Pushing God aside? Have You been trusting God to guide Your life, lead You in the decisions and choices you are making in your life? Do you remember this verse “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. It is Romans 8:28. I know that many of you are walking through trials that are so much bigger than what I am facing but I want to assure you that GOD sees every struggle, He knows the outcome already and He promises we will never walk alone through the troubles of this world. HE PROMISES…that He will never forsake us…That He is with us to the end of age. So take a minute to say Thank You Lord for being with me in all I face and May Your will be done in my life. That is the way I am starting my prayer each day. Remember we are all God’s Children…and He loved us first.

Heavenly Father,

As we start this day, we know that it might hold difficulties, happy times and sad times, sorrows and sickness but we know You are will us always. Thank You Lord for being with us as we face the day. May Your will be done in our lives and may You use us to grow your kingdom through the love of Jesus. Lord, we praise Your name and give You all the glory for what you are doing and have done in our lives. Thank You Lord for Great is Your faithfulness. In the name of Jesus…AMEN