Are our prayers selfish or selfless? Are we focusing on what we need GOD to do or are we focusing on who GOD is in our lives? In this blog, I am going to share a personal testimony of focusing on what God has done…Our blessings.

2019 held one major challenge in our lives after another, but God showed up in a mighty way. No we didn’t get everything we prayed for, but we focused on what God was doing not on what he wasn’t doing.

The year started with our son still being deployed in Kuwait, then came the hard diagnosis of Stage 3 lung cancer for my husband Brad ( He had beat lymphoma cancer some 15years before) and then came my aortic anyeresum and aortic valve failure (which meant open heart surgery).

As hard as deployment is for families, some of them come off without a problem, but not my son’s. His wife found a new man in her life, moved him into their home and then served my son with divorce papers upon his return from deployment, after 13 years of marriage. They have two beautiful children, and he was devastated. His kids were his world and now he didn’t even have time to regroup and get life back to normal. He was in the fight of his life, to stay in his kids lives. Oh, I prayed and I prayed that something would show them both, the importance of marriage, or family…but NO that didn’t happen, and I prayed and prayed that they would have shared custody, but NO that didn’t happen. I prayed and I prayed that my son’s bitterness and brokenness would be healed, but NO that didn’t happen. I , finally one day, fell on my knees and said, GOD, this hurt, this pain, his brokenness and loss are beyond me. I am laying it all at the foot of the cross, God in Your timing I pray for You to help my son find his way back to YOU…. and I am still trusting in GOD’s timing. My son has pretty much walked out of our lives, but I trust in GOD’s plan not mine. I see the blessings that my son sees his kids every other weekend, that my grandchildren are adjusting and that they are healthy. I thank GOD that my grandchildren know who Jesus is and that even in all of this…they are still praying at meals and at night. So I look at the Greatness of GOD in this situation and I trust in His plan. Oh this was only a small drop in the bucket next came Brad’s cancer.

When Brad was first diagnosed , Oh wow, our lives were tossed upside down and yes, we were afraid, but in that moment we prayed and prayed. We ask God to direct every step of this journey and that is exactly what he did. The pulmonary specialist that told us it was Stage 3 cancer, fast growing and un-operable, but he was wrong. Thank You Jesus for that. When contacted the oncologist that had treated Brad in Olathe 15 years ago, and he met with us, an God was in the mix for sure. He had gone to school with a wonderful oncologist in Wichita, and recommended him to us. He was the one that said, only a surgeon can tell you that it is not operable. So we meet with one of the top lung and heart surgeons in Wichita and Thank You Jesus…he said it could be operated on, so he and the oncologist talked and decided that we would do 13 chemo treatments to shrink the tumor and it began. Well first blessing no nausea or vomiting at all through out the chemo, second blessing tumor shrunk, so we were on to the surgery. The doctor said, they were going to try to remove the lower lobe of the lung…well that didn’t work like we prayed, they had to remove the entire right lung. Life would change…but how much it would change, was unsure, but we gave thanks to the Lord, why because Brad was alive, the cancer was removed and was not showing anywhere else, and Brad was on to the next step of his journey of healing. Well, let me tell You GOD IS GOOD… within six months, Brad had lost some weight, he had gone from being on oxygen and using his motorized cart for distance, to breathing with out oxygen and walking…no more cart. Sure he can’t run a marathon or do super strenuous work, but he can volunteer at church, do basic things like mow the grass (riding mower) and empty the trash, He recently replaced some broken plumbing in our house…So no God didn’t do exactly what we had prayed for but God’s plan is perfect and we say Thank You Jesus.

Now last but not least….we were only a short time into Brad’s recovery, when I went for my annual check up with my cardiologist thinking nothing was wrong and it was another WOW. I receive a call from the nurse saying that they needed to schedule me immediately for a series of tests at the hospital, one being a heart cath and several others. I was wait a minute, why? What is this all about? So long story short, my aortic value that they had been watching had gone for minor condition to critical condition. I told the nurse I had to speak to the doctor. I did, and I agreed to have the test done but told him surgery was out of the question until Brad was recovered more. In doing the heart Cath, they found a large anyeresum on the aorta and the doctor said, I needed to have surgery sooner than later. I said, I don’t feel bad, I am not having symptoms and I need more time. The doctor knew the situation and he said, here are the symptoms you should be having, we can wait but if any of these start happening, I need to know immediately and we will need to get the surgery scheduled. And he explained that if the anyeresum ruptured I would die. So we got about 2 more months and then the symptoms came…so surgery was scheduled, full blown open heart surgery, with a graft to replace the anyeresum and a new tissue aortic value. And guess what, who do you think would do the surgery, Yes the same surgeon who did Brad’s. We even joked and asked if we could have a family discount. Was I scared …no not really, I knew God was watching over this and that He had a plan. And the heaven’s was being stormed with prayers. Praise God that his plan was perfect. I am alive and the recovery has been long and slow. The open heart surgery was not with out a few hiccups along the way, but thank you Jesus we got through them all. So do I see the blessing in life, You bet I do…

And in all of this. I have learned to look at what God is and has done, not what I prayed for that he didn’t do. God’s plan is perfect, for it is his design for our lives. So start each morning with a grateful heart and say THANK YOU JESUS for all the You have done and all that You are doing in my life.